Holiday Movie Reviews – A Christmas classic?, a Sequel and the Most Famous Reindeer of All…

A Christmas Story (1983)

It had been forever since I had seen this movie. When I was younger I remember loving it and while I was probably more amused than I should have been at some of the skits, I’m not sure I still feel the same way. I do think it’s an interesting slice of pie from a more Norman Rockwell version of America. I also think that my living in the Midwest (Great Plains, whatever…) for a few years has helped with my appreciation of the movie, as some of the elements seem way more familiar to me. Our protagonist Ralphie wants a Red Ryder BB gun with a fever that would make you think he went on to be a founding father of the NRA when he got older. His constant scheming and hints to his parents seemingly fall on deaf ears. His mother is the first to coin the phrase you hear throughout the movie, “You’ll shoot your eye out.”. Ralphie’s over exuberant imagination concocts some of the movies best set pieces, although the real life adventures aren’t far behind. Fights with neighborhood bullies, his Dad’s love of a really tacky but now famous lamp, and the neighborhood dogs’ constant harassing of his Dad are highlights of the film and played for maximum effect. I also love the substitution of fake curse words so it could stay a family film. His Dad curses sound like what you would expect the word bubble over Qbert’s head to sound like. Ralphie also accidentally drops the big word “FFFFFUUUDDDDGGGEEE” while helping his Dad change a tire. The effect is hilarious. I think my favorite part of the entire movie is when he scrambles back up the slide to tell the department store Santa that he wants the BB gun, only to be told “You’ll shoot your eye out kid” and then getting kicked in the forehead by Santa while he exclaims “Merry Christmas, Ho Ho Ho!”. That part seriously cracks me up. 

All in all, it’s still a fun movie, but I found myself checking my phone more than I should have as it seems to kind of drag on in a way I’m just not used to these days. Also I want to point out the Asian stereotypes they play for laughs at the restaurant on Christmas Eve have not aged well. I think that’s the thing with the movie, it does seem really dated, which I guess is the point. Elements of the movie, which appears to be set in the 50s(??) hit nostalgic notes with me because some of those elements  were still around when I was a really young child. So while I still think it’s an okay movie, it wouldn’t hurt my feelings if it was decades before I saw it again. It had some good scenes in it but overall it kind of bored me and so we’ll leave this movie to the Ghost of Christmas Past.

Amber’s Take:

Well, I decided that if we are doing movie reviews we might as well watch the one Christmas movie I have never seen. I’ve heard this is one of the “ultimate” Christmas movies, but I will say it was just ok… Actually it was a huge disappointment. I struggled with the narration, a lot! It is one of my pet peeves – when the main character narrates his own story. I suppose in it’s time it was great, but it was nothing special to me. Next.

The Christmas Chronicles 2 (2020)

Well look at us, going from a really old Christmas movie to a brand new one. Obviously The Christmas Chronicles 2 is the sequel to the 2018 movie, The Christmas Chronicles, which I watched for the first time last week. It also stars my favorite movie Santa Claus, played by Kurt Russell. In this one, Kate, our true believer from the first film, has become a cynical teenager having to deal with the fact that her mom is getting serious with her boyfriend, which Kate is opposed to, not because the guys is bad, but because he is not their father, who passed away at the start of the last movie. Basically Kate forgets the first rule of Christmas, You Better Not Pout. Instead she plans to runaway and go back home for Christmas instead of spending it in Cancun with the rest of the family and the boyfriend and his son, the hypochondriac Jack. Now this would have been enough of a “feel goody teen forgets spirit of Christmas only to be taught a lesson” type plot to power your average Hallmark Christmas movie, but this movie is more ambitious. You see there is an elf who got kicked out of Santa’s workshop and he has a plan to take Santa’s powers and takeover Christmas himself. I won’t go into the nuts details of all of it, except to say part of it involved turning the elves into semi Gremlins, which reminds me, that’s another movie we need to review… Anyway, Kate and Jack end up at the North Pole and must help Santa and Mrs. Claus (Goldie Hawn having the time of her life.) save Christmas. There are hijinks, time travel, exploding sugar cookies, a musical number which is far inferior to the last movie but Santa sells it as best he can. I’m not spoiling anything to say that they all end up happily ever after, including the bad guy. In the end everyone ends up being one big happy family. It’s pure sugar coma inducing Christmas movie schlock, but Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn add a lot of heart and fun to it. Now I doubt they listen, but stop while you’re ahead…

Amber’s Take:

Kurt Russell as Santa is still one of my favorites, but in this movie Mrs. Claus stole the show…for me. I love that she is basically a witch, and pretty much runs the show. As with the other one it was a great story about how Christmas isn’t always storybook, but in the end it’s the spirit that matters, not the location. Fitting this year as we are not living somewhere that has the typical Christmas vibe we are used to. Great movie, even though I do like the first one better.

Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer (1964)

Ah Rudolph, this is the one that we have to watch every year. It’s Amber’s all time favorite Christmas special and this year, like Santa in the film, we almost missed it. We had a new TV and had to install the antenna to pick up regular channels so we missed the first half of it. But it doesn’t matter, I’ve seen this special a million times and even seen the stage musical twice, so I’m sure I can wing it.

Over the years it’s taken some flack for the obvious bullying of the lead characters and for some of the subtle implications of certain characters. Ignoring all of that, Rudolph is different and different is bad, even Santa is a huge asshole about his nose, which he can’t help. He was born that way. In the meantime Hermie is an elf who doesn’t want to build toys, he wants to be… a dentist! As someone who has broken out of the mold of every day life, I feel for these guys. It’s hilarious when they meet up while both running away and decide they are going to be independent… together. (I’m not sure you can technically do that, but whatever.) They have a lot of adventures and meet up with other misfits, all while trying to avoid the Abominable Snowman, Bumbles. In the end, they end up back at Santa’s and everyone feels bad about being such assholes. Then a thick fog apparently envelops the entire world (??) and Santa thinks their going to have to cancel Christmas. Man, Santa is such a drag in this one. Then suddenly he realizes that Rudolph’s nose will allow them to see through the fog and offers him a spot on the team. Hermie even gets to be a dentist and the misfit toys all get picked up and taken to loving homes. So they all live happily ever after and the real lesson here is that if you’re different, everyone one will make fun of you until they find out you’re useful, or something like that…

Regardless of how the themes have aged, the stop motion is priceless and the models are adorable. This unfortunately spawned a wave of lesser Christmas stop motion specials that flooded the market but this one is the OG and I love it. I would love to see a live TV musical of this one with Billie Joe Armstrong as Hermie, just to hear him belt out “We’re just a couple of misfits” with Rudolph.

Amber’s Take:

Best Christmas Movie Ever. Period. I could go one forever about what I love about this movie. Rudolph, Yukon, Hermie, Santa (even though he’s a jerk), the island of misfit toys, the elves, Sam the snowman, and Clarice make this a great movie, but what makes it AMAZING is Bumbles. He always makes the movie for me. He bounces, tries to eat deer, but in the end he gets the job of putting the Christmas star on the tree and he is so proud of himself. I still think he gets a bad rap and really just wants to be friends with everyone. I have watched this movie every year since I was a little girl and it never gets old.