Halloween Horrorfest Mini Reviews part 1

These days being packed into a theater seems like a distant memory. For obvious reasons I have no desire to be packed in anywhere, with anyone. So we decided to have our own month long Halloween Horrorfest on the living room couch. The mini reviews that follow are my thoughts on each movie. I’m going to split the movies into two posts since there are a ton, and also because the month isn’t over yet and we still have a few more movies, including a marathon on Halloween. So without further adieu, here’s my thoughts on Halloween Horrorfest 2020. 

(Warning – in some cases there may be some mild spoilers. Nothing too bad, but you’ve been warned!)

1. The Girl on the Third Floor – Phil Brooks, aka CM Punk to wrestling fans, makes his acting debut, seemingly trying to channel a cross between Henry Rollins and Bruce Campbell, without the charisma of either. He plays a disgraced financial advisor trying to make things right by his pregnant wife by moving out to the suburbs and remodeling a house. What can possibly go wrong? As it turns out, plenty. The house oozes, and oozes, while Phil seems content to stick his finger in it each and every time. Ew. To be fair I give this movie some points for doing some foreshadowing that ended up being a total red herring, but left me in suspense the entire time waiting on it to pay off. I’ve heard a lot of people loved this movie. I’m not a lot of people…
2. We Summon the Darkness – Ah the 80s metal scene. This movie speaks my love language. Heavy Metal, a satanic cult, and a televangelist played by Johnny Knoxville? Sign me up. There’s a twist that I saw coming literally right before it happened but this is a really fun movie that didn’t overstay it’s welcome.
3. Hereditary – I had never seen this movie, which always seems to get a lot of acclaim. It gets major props for it’s first big twist, I seriously didn’t see that coming. But to me, it fails to stick the landing. There’s a subplot that literally comes out of nowhere and the ending leaves a lot to be desired. Plus I didn’t need to see that much old people nudity…
4. Frankenweenie (short) – This is a black and white short from 1984, not the full length version that came later. It’s live action and totally adorable. I absolutely loved it as it seem to mix the wholesome, old school Disney feel with the absurdity and odd gothic feel that only Tim Burton can bring. If you have Disney+ look it up.
5. John Carpenter’s The Thing – What can I say? This is one of my favorite horror movies of all time. From the soundtrack to the whacky characters, the absolute claustrophobic setting and one of the best jump scares of all times, this movie has it all. When I meet a new friend and they tell me they scare easy but will still agree to let me show them a horror movie, I always show them this one. I’m probably not a good friend…
6. The Babysitter – What do you do when you find out your babysitter is the head of a satanic cult who needs your blood to obtain everlasting youth? This is a really over the top movie that caused me to cackle out loud. Part horror, part comedy, this movie won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. However, I’m not everyone so of course, I loved it. It’s on Netflix, along with the sequel (more on that later…), if you get a chance, it’s worth a watch.
7. Trick ‘r Treat – How had I never seen this??? This is one of the few “cult classics” that I’ve never watched. A collection of stories that stand up well individually but work even better as they weave in and out of each other, making the movie so much fun. Sam, a mischievous (murderous…) spirit  shows up throughout the stories, mostly when characters break Halloween traditions. So in that aspect, maybe it’s kind of like a Christmas Carol?? Whatever you do, don’t break the Halloween traditions kids!
8. The Boy – Hmmm, this one was interesting. Show up for a creepy doll movie set in an old gothic manor, stay for the spontaneous, Friday the 13th / Halloween type movie that breaks loose near the climax. It’s definitely different and I didn’t mind it, but the shift from one type of movie to the other could be jarring for some viewers. Just be sure to follow all the rules or Brahms will be pissed and you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry…
9. Sinister – So there we were in a dark room watching a movie about Ethan Hawke sitting in a dark room watching movies. Seriously though, this movie is pretty good and does a good job of building up suspense, despite the fact that you don’t get a good look at the bad guy until the very end of the movie. It’s all atmosphere and the filmmaker saved a ton of money by shooting the majority of it in the pitch dark. Even when something creepy happens, Ethan Hawke stubbornly refuses to turn on the light. Vincent D’Onofrino even shows up for an extended cameo, but never appears except on a laptop screen. He could have filmed his part over Zoom… Still a really good movie, I had high hopes for the sequel… More on that later.
10. The Babysitter: Killer Queen – We had so much fun with the Babysitter, we came back for the sequel. Despite the first movie being over the top, this one soars past it in terms of absurdity. A killer soundtrack, outlandish supporting characters, a twist I did not see coming and the return of the satanic cult makes the movie a lot of fun. I will say, much like the first one, it’s less horror than really dark comedy. But it’s a fun ride and would be a blast to watch with large group of people. Killer Queen indeed…
11. Relic – Not to be confused with the 1997 creature feature, The Relic, this film is a decidedly quiet movie that starts with the disappearance of an old woman. Her daughter and grand daughter come to her house to try to find her. One night the old woman mysteriously reappears with no explanation of where she’s been. It’s a slow burn with emphasis on the slow. Black mold starts appearing in random places and there is a lot of general atmosphere / creepiness. Plus there is a weird sequence I like where the granddaughter gets lost in an alternate dimension (??) inside the house. Generally this movie moves at a snail’s pace before collapsing into a confusing mess and then falling into a really gross ending that leaves me totally confused. Also too much old people nudity…
12. The Descent – This movie was recently declared one of the scariest movies ever made by a scientific study on heart rate. After watching it, I totally get it. The claustrophobic setting is enough to get your heart rate up before you even get to the fact that they aren’t alone down there. There’s gore aplenty with broken limbs, gory deaths and one character falling into what can best be called a pool of “blood and waste” from which she rises with her eyes open. Seriously girl, that’s how you get pink eye… It’s one of the most intense movies I’ve watched in a while. To give you a clue, my wife spent decent portions of it with the blanket partially to fully covering her eyes. Good stuff. 

Okay that’s it for the first half of our Halloween Horrorfest Mini Reviews. Let me know what you think in the comments. What’s some of your favorite scary movies?

I’ll post the second half of this post next week, once we’ve finished the month out with our marathon viewing of movies on Halloween. Stay spooky!